What is it?

What is it? That one thing, what is it? The one memory that you try so desperately to bury. That one regret that you periodically and often unwillingly replay. Was it the moment you let him walk away? That one time you forgot to say I love you? Did you hit the cross bar in the championship game? Did you quit? Was it that one thing you said, that ruined everything? Was it the mark you left on her face? The one point you needed on your test? The time you choose not to put forth the effort? Was it that one night? The moment you stood still, when you should have moved? Is it the friendship you no longer have? The love you vowed would be for better or worse? Did you snap? Now you’re thinking about it, so what is it? What are you holding on to? How much time have you spent burying those memory cells deep within the solitude of your Neocortex? What is it, and why does it still exist? Why is it still swimming around your cerebrum tattooed as a regret? And what are you going to do about it? Whether it happened ten years ago or yesterday, there is one thing that is for sure – It will swim around for the rest of your life, and occasionally poke it’s head above water to send you a piercing reminder that it's still there. But that’s your choice, to let it exist. That memory cell didn’t label itself as regret, you did. Why? What is it? What is it that you can’t let go? You shouldn’t let it go, you should never try and let a regret go, because you won't be able to. Regret isn’t buried or overcome by “letting go.” It lives within us until we realize that the antidote isn’t letting go, it’s holding. Replay it, get angry, scream, fight, cry your eyes out, feel sorry for yourself, feel depressed, just feel it. Live it again, and then breathe. Hold on to it, feel it, face it, and then breathe. Just breathe. It’s okay to make a mistake, to lose, to fail. But it’s over, done. You can’t get it back, and that’s okay – it’s okay. So just breathe and don’t look back, because there’s nothing left there for you, and your clenched hands aren't holding on to anything but air. What is it? That one thing? Do you even remember?